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Blogging about gardening in zone 4, marriage, our golden retriever and life in general.

Monday, November 9, 2009

November Wedding Goals

So we have a wedding to plan. You, like me, might have pushed that fact to the back of your brain as you helped me consider Jonquil yellow instead of Big Bus yellow. And thank god you did, because then I’d have a house which screamed “HAI! I’M YELLOW!” instead of the nice, sedate yellow we have. So thanks for that!

After we moved in, I promised DJ a one week hiatus from wedding planning in order to give ourselves some time to chill out and find our pants. No, really, do you know where my black Banana Republic pants are? I’d really like to wear them and I’ve looked everywhere!

Regardless of the pants situation, by Sunday night DJ organized the garage so we could get both vehicles inside; I unpacked our multitudes of books, and even violated the pristine sheetrock to hang pictures. I think this house of ours will really come together someday (I’ll post photos of the rooms once they’re somewhat decorated).

We took advantage of the nice weather (by Montana standards) on Sunday afternoon to go for a walk around the regional park before dinner. Unprompted, DJ proposed the following for a dinnertime conversation: we’d both describe what we’re envisioning for the wedding week. He’d go first, and I had to remain as neutral as possible so he could finish his description before I picked it apart (I’m opinionated most of the time sometimes. And then I’d get to go. Great idea, I thought!

Well, the conversation got intense somehow. Or I got intense about the conversation. I don’t know what the hell my deal is about this wedding thing, but damn. At one point I was in tears and we were saying snippy tit-for-tat things to each other. Little grating things that we don’t usually do. Fortunately, but the end of the evening we’d both worked through it, but MAN, that wasn’t fun. And I thought planning a wedding was supposed to be fun?

By the end of the night, we’d agreed that I’d work on the master spreadsheet, and give DJ a chance to review it. I emailed him first thing this morning our to-do lists for the week. Primarily it included finalizing the budget, touching base about the catering, asking my cousin to DJ, contacting friends for snail mail addresses and trying to register at Home Depot on Sunday (mostly for Christmas Gifts and random Housewarming gifts).

By the end of the month we’re going to have the Save the Date pamphlets done. Yes, you read that correctly, a whole pamphlet (more later). We’ll also have the guest list spreadsheet, their addresses and phone numbers (for rounding up late RSVPers) rounded up by the end of the month.

The books, oh the books say that we should have all sorts of things done by now. But we’re not going to do this by the book… and I just need to chill out about that. Which is funny since I was so gung-ho about planning a wedding in March and April. Now? Most of it will get done after Christmas.

Anyone else out there think they’d be way more on top of planning a wedding than they really were? Were you ok with it? Or did you freak out like me and unfairly beat your dear fiancĂ© over the head with the words “We could have done this in Vegas in May.” (It was unfair. I need to move past my lack of enthusiasm for planning this thing.)


  1. When are you getting married?

    I thought wedding planning was supposed to be fun too, but we almost throttled each other over guest list discussions...my theory is that pretty much all of the wedding decisions have such an emotional appeal, you know? Like, invitations aren't just pieces of paper, they make the wedding seem so permanent...the dress isn't just a dress, it's THE dress, the dress you promise your life to your man in...so that's why I think those discussions can turn so emotionally charged so quickly.

    What's worked the best for Ryan and I is each of us deciding what's really important to us...for me, it's the church we get married in, and for him, it's making sure all of his loved ones are there. For us, we keep in mind that outside those 2 things, the rest are extras.

    Good luck! Once the big decisions are done it's much more fun.

  2. @ Stacy: The date is July 10, 2010- 8 months from today! I think you hit the nail on the head about why wedding-related things can be so emotionally-charged. And I like how you guys approached making decisions. I think my personal problem is that while I don't care about the flowers, someone does have to make a decision about the flowers... thus I do have to care about them, you know? How are you guys handling making decisions about stuff you don't care about?

  3. Courtney,

    We're in the same boat as far as you guys are, i.e. probably won't get the save the dates out until January for instance. I'm just lucky that Ren is as excited about planning the wedding as she is!

    Now we need to figure out how to cut down the guest list, she has a big family so we probably won't be able to invite as many other people as we otherwise would have.

    -Dan Douthit