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Blogging about gardening in zone 4, marriage, our golden retriever and life in general.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Finding the Silver Lining

Whew, what a hectic last 10 days. Lecture and Cemetery tour with the Preservation Board, moving, Preservation Awards last night. It’s fun to put on events like that, but darn, they really suck all of your attention. I actually came into work this morning kind of at a loss as for where to start!

This weekend includes a stint at Gift Corral on Saturday during their open house, which will be kind of fun and festive. I’ve barely worked there this fall, but asked them to keep me in mind for their bigger days. Truthfully, I wanted to totally quit in September, but I just couldn’t desert them going into the holiday season. I’ll work a handful of shifts through Christmas, and then I’m donezo.

This weekend’s primary focus is to finish moving into our house and put stuff away. Generally do some nesting, and be able to park both vehicles in the garage by Sunday. I also intend to cook and bake, a LOT. Gotta break that kitchen in. DJ’s been in Helena for an Engineering Conference (dude, you thought my History conferences were dorky?), and he’ll be back tonight. I’m trying to decide what delicious home-cooked thing to make for dinner… Cornish game hens, maybe?

Sunday evening also begins the actual wedding-planning. Finally my mind isn’t cluttered with paint colors, trim accents, and any other number of housebuilding-related things! Now to clutter it with Blessed Event-related things.

As we start to get settled in, I can’t help but think of my parents and how much I miss having my family in Bozeman. Last weekend both of them mentioned considering moving back to Bozeman some day in the next three to five years, which we’d both love. We both sometimes struggle with living so far away from our families in Washington, and have had lengthy discussions about moving further west to be nearer them. I’m no fool; grandma’s eight and twelve hours away with small children certainly makes things hard.

Maybe it’s something about fall in Montana, the way the light changes and the atmosphere or something, but I get a little melancholy this time of year. Especially when I think of my parents and the upheaval that has been their life for the last two and a half years. I could rave on and on for days about how I really feel about the athletic director that fired my dad. Posts full of vitriol and bitterness, but really, who wants to read that? I do have pieces of it written down somewhere; often I just need to get it out before I verbally vomit all over DJ and sour a nice evening with the acidic feelings I have towards certain people in the athletic department and president’s office.

I think I want what everyone wants; for their parents to feel safe, financially secure, and happy together. My mom and dad are a good team. And in their mid-50’s, they’re starting over again for the third time in their life. The second and third times they’ve started over have been due to a firing by MSU.

Undoubtedly, none of us thought they’d be in this position ten years ago this week when dad’s EWU team played MSU in Bozeman. After that trip, MSU began courting dad to become their coach, and the rest is a lengthy, now-painful history for me to discuss. Suffice to say, I miss my mom and dad, I miss the life they and we had here, and I miss the excitement of it. Mostly though, I want to be done with this bitterness towards MSU. I want to let go of the chip on my shoulder. And I want my parents to be back on SOME track. Any track at this point.

Maybe there will be resolution this winter. Maybe it will be after the January trial. But do not mistake me, they’d give any amount of money back to just be back where we were on May 15, 2007.

In the meantime, I have to find the silver lining. Since he wasn’t coaching, dad was able to be here this weekend and install all of the drawer hardware in our house. Every time I open the kitchen drawers, I think of him.

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