It’s no secret I’m a gym-a-holic. Fighting off the family fat genetic is a daily effort for me, and I’ve written before about how exercise is important to me. Despite the minimal actual impact on my physical appearance, working up a sweat daily makes me feel better about my body and have better body confidence. I might not wear a six 4, but god damn it, I can run a mile in 8 minutes. And a second one too. And I’m proud of that.
But sometimes my dedication to keeping fit feels really selfish. Tonight I went to a 5:50pm pilates class and then did cardio for 40 minutes before stopping by the house to check things out for the evening. By the time I got home at 7:30pm, DJ had already made home made salsa (OMFG, SO GOOD. We’re never eating store-bought AGAIN), and tacos for dinner, and eaten too. I certainly don’t begrudge him for eating without me; just the opposite, I feel guilty for not being home to help make dinner and eat with him.
My weight has crept up since grad school. Some of it was the lifestyle change; I’m not walking back and forth to class 40 minutes a day, in addition to going to the gym for an hour. I attribute a few more lbs to a slowing metabolism. I used to think that as long as I exercised I could eat whatever I wanted- so not true anymore. Some of it is related to living with a man who is a fantastic cook, and my related lack of self control. And I take full ownership of that.
And I promise, the purpose of this blog post is not to cry “Wah! Poor me! I’m so fat!” before devouring another bag of kit-kat bars (WTF, why did I buy those?) because, really people, I’m not! I’m healthy (see also: Hiking the Ridge) and active and like apples too! But I also am above weight for my recommended Body Mass Index. And my family does have a history of heart issues and diabetes. For those reasons, it’s important to me to keep fitness in the forefront.
Some might think that this focus is wedding-related. In many ways it is; I don’t want to drop a shitload of money on expensive, but well worth it, photography, only to look at it and wish I’d worked harder to whip myself into shape.
But I’ve also been focused on trimming down since before Christmas. My clothes weren’t fitting well, and after nine months of two steps forward and one step back, my closet just now no longer a source of frustration. And that time frame is indicative. It’s taken me nearly 10 months to loose 10 lbs on my own. And that right there tells me that I can no longer eat whatever I want and expect to feel good about my body.
I’m striving to eat better. Eat less. Turn to something other than chocolate-covered cinnamon bears for stress relief. And I’ve shaken up my exercise routine too, by adding a twice weekly pilates class (yeah, ME, doing pilates. I’m selling tickets for the comedy show!). And I’m SOOO excited to move back into our neighborhood on Friday (TWO DAYS) and go for walks in the evenings as a way of undwinding.
’m starting to wonder if I need a goal to work towards, a la Linda on Bodies in Motivation. It would be nice to focus on training for something instead of just “losing weight”. I’ll keep up the hard work until I find something, but does anyone have any suggestions for me? I think triathalon season in Bozeman has passed, but small road races? Has anyone else found something that motivates them to keep up the hard work, other than the chub hanging over their waistband?