Hard to find the words

Sometimes I fall off the blogging wagon and struggle to get back on.

There have been a lot of things going on lately, and yet... not much to write about. Or, not much I can adequately put to words. Maybe a good way to do it is go through the recent cell phone photos and tell you the stories behind them?

Lets start with this one: of my mom's birthday dinner at my grandparents house.

It's a blurry cell phone picture. If I could set up this picture again, I'd have a nice DSLR camera, with a timer on it. I'd put the camera on a shelf facing the dinner table, set the shutter on continuous mode, and the camera would capture images of the lit candles, the smile on my mom's face, and my grandparents singing "Happy Birthday" to her as she blew the candles out. Somehow the camera would capture the sound of my Grandma's light (alto? soprano?) and my Grandpa's deep baritone.

The camera would not remember the shit storm of an argument Gretchen and I walked in to that Sunday afternoon, as we came over to make a Sunday birthday dinner for my mom. I think all families have this argument at some point; failing health, elderly grandparents, working adult children, lack of in-home care in rural America, the difficult decisions that must be made. What we don't talk about is the fear of losing the ones we love, losing the traditions and memories and institutional family knowledge that comes with their impending death.

It is hard.

I was in eastern Washington that weekend, over Veteran's Day, to visit my sister for "Dad's weekend" at Washington State. Since dad was a little busy playing at Sacramento, I was the stand-in. We ended up down on the field before the game, due to Gretch's participation in a student booster group. My mom was in the area too, so we were able to snag tickets from a friend on the WSU coaching staff and all sit together for the game. In a snowstorm that looked like this:

Pretty epic. The best part was the come-from-behind victory.

And... less than a month later, 'Cougar football has reminded me why sometimes college football can be cruel. You see, the 'Cougs head coach used to work for my dad. He stayed on at Eastern Washington University when my dad left for MSU. After his first wife died of a brain tumor, he remarried and now has a son and a stepdaughter. In 2007 WSU fired their football coach (whose wife, ironically, had died of ovarian cancer the year before) and our friend was hired at his alma mater and where he played, WSU. Four years later, and about 3.5 weeks after this picture, Paul was fired from WSU.

I think I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder when it comes to people we know being fired. Seriously, all last week I was weepy and had a chest ache every time I think about it. It makes me sick.

And so, it seems the only thing to do is come home and cuddle this furball, who never fails to make me laugh:

(Don't fear, she punished me for this indignity by eating one of the glass ball ornaments the next day). 

At least the doggie knows how to hang out and roll with the punches.

Flying

Man, last weekend rocked.

First there was a quick trip to Anaconda for my friend Ashley's birthday party. Ash was my "little sister" in AOII in college. It always amazes me how quickly I pick back up with any of those girls; and always wonderful to see Ashley. I stayed the night and we went for a quick walk around Anaconda before I left Saturday morning.

Fun history fact: you may have heard of the recent death of Hugette Clark, the mystery heiress to William A. Clark, one of Montana's "Copper Kings". Clark's main rival, when he was building his fortune a century ago, was Marcus Daly, who founded Anaconda as the company town for a smelting mill. History, it's all around you.

I stopped off in Butte on my way back to Bozeman, to quickly browse through the antique stores and see the finished Hennessey Market on East Granite Street in Uptown Butte. Now I know you're going to make fun of me, people who don't "get it" usually do, but I have a big crush on Butte, America..

Saturday afternoon I gardened in the heat, while DJ worked on landscaping stuff. Then we grabbed a quick dinner with Ali Judge, her son Cole and fiancee Jim. Ali, always rail-thin and willowy, looks pretty much exactly the same as she did when she got pregnant. Damn those girls and their lithe, athletic bodies. Good to see them, and meet the little man.

Sunday morning I went for a long bike ride, then showered and walked over to Allyson and Chris' for Allyson's 32nd birthday brunch. The day was capped when 3 year old Aiden Kutnz handed Allyson a larger jewelry case, totally fit for a necklace. Instead, Chris handed Allyson an engagement ring. I'm so genuinely excited for them!

Sunday afternoon was more gardening and generally putzing around in the heat. We ended a beautiful weekend with BBQ'd salmon, red potatoes and chives, bread and a salad. A quick walk and chuck-it playing made Harlow a Very Happy Dog.

Overall, about the best weekend I've had in a long, long time.

Lake trips

We went to Lake Coeur d'Alene for Memorial Day weekend. The drive over there in late May is heartbreakingly gorgeous. Swift moving rivers, snowy mountaintops and rich green grass everywhere. 

I didn't expect nice weather; the forecast called for 42 degrees and 100% chance of rain all weekend. I packed in preparation of drinking and playing scrabble all weekend. Instead it was beautiful, with only a shower while I was on a bike ride. 

Harlow has become quite the road trip dog:

She'll lie down on the "dog taco" in the back seat and do that drowsy dog thing. You know, eyes closed, head bobbing up and down, almost asleep but not quite there.

It cracks me up when she lies with her paws crossed. Such a lady.

The dog taco came in handy on Friday night, when Harlow had her first bought of car sickness after driving down the long, windy road into Harrison. She puked just as we rounded the corner at One Shot Charlie's bar. Not the first time One Shots has made someone toss their cookies. Thankfully the dog taco caught all of it. We hosed everything down and were off into the night.

I've done a bad thing. I taught the pupperoni that two pats on the bed means come cudde with me.

She learned that trick after about two tries!

I went for two 25 mile bike rides over the weekend, and one16 mile dwadling bike tour with Dusty. You've got to bike it out in this crowd, or else risk coming home 1 lb heavier for every day you were out there. My family likes good food.

On my way back towards Harrison I came upon this guy, snacking on an aspen.

We stared at each other for a bit, unsure what to do. He is obviously not an adult moose, but also not a baby, so I wasn't too worried about getting between him and his mamma. Those things will charge you if they feel threatened. So I stood there with my bike for about 5 minutes, willing him to run away. When he didn't, I rode past him as far to the left side of the bike path as I possibly could.

And then two miles later I came across another moose!!! Two moose in three miles. Those things stink.

Harlow, in the mean time, was an exhausted dog by Sunday. She spent Saturday playing epic games of chuck-it, a lengthy game of fetch the duck with my dad, and generally socializing.

By Sunday she could barely keep herself awake to enjoy the fun.

Have I ever mentioned the shack at the lake? See, when my parents bought their place, they also bought the little house next door from the previous owner. Alternatively called "the guesthouse" or "the shack" but sometimes "the shithole", the building has been bike and tool storage, a rental, and all but abandoned. Until my mom worked out a deal with a local handyman last winter; he and his wife lived in the shack rent free in exchange for them fixing the building up. My parents bought the materials, they did the work.

I assumed the worst with this deal. I've always thought the shack was salvage-able; I just wasn't so sure about this horse-trading arrangement. But, to my chagrin, it worked out. Crow makes an excellent dinner, FYI.

There are still a few things to be done, like fixing the window in the door, and a bit of trim work. But it's otherwise liveable and rentable and a cool little building. My parents will have it painted this fall and have gutters installed.

I shamed my mom into keeping the original windows in the building. They thought about replacing them with something vinyl and I was obnoxious and rude and impertinent insistent that they keep the originals. We spent time this weekend razor-blading them back open after they'd been painted shut. Later this summer we'll rebuild the storm windows and screens, and repaint the outside of them in preparation for the later painting this fall. It feels good to be able to put my money where my mouth is on the windows.

Overall, a very, very satisfactory weekend. One which makes me rethink my entire career choice. Why didn't I become a teacher, who could live at the lake for the summer?

Pacific Northwest Roadtrip

We returned home last night from a one week road trip to the Pacific Northwest, where we visited friends and family and Dusty was the best man in a friend's wedding.

I didn't take my camera, but had a handy blackberry for quick photos.

We drove to Harrison on Friday afternoon, and saw a bunch of windmill blades being shipped via rail. Pretty cool to see!

We weren't in a hurry on Saturday, so we toured the central part of Washington state. My family used to go boating on Lake Roosevelt, the reservoir behind Grand Coulee Dam. The dam was a Depression-Era program which brought electricity, flood control and agricultural irrigation to Washington. I wanted DJ to see it. Obviously we were too close for great photos.

Unfortunately, we paid for our little detour later, in the form of delays, chains required and crappy spring snow over Snoqualmie Pass in the Cascades. We took my sedan for the trip, as it gets so much better gas mileage. We never take my car out of town in the winter, as I don't have snow tires or all wheel drive. Since I never leave the city limits, I don't have chains either. Which was going to be a problem when the Washington State Patrol shut down the pass and then checked every vehicle for AWD or chains. Umm... yeah. Thankfully, the state patrolman was distracted when he checked our car; I'm pretty sure he glanced at our Montana License plate and just waved us through. We went for it, and it slowed our arrival in Seattle by about an hour and a half.

After a great dinner with Brian and Denise on Saturday night, we woke up kind of early Sunday morning and headed down to Pike Place Market to walk around. Of course, all I photographed were the blooming trees!

And daffodils! Planted on rooftop containers. So great.

You might be wondering what we did with Harlow while out of town. She stayed with our friend Mark and his dog Charlie. We were a bit cautious, as neither dog had really spent much time with another dog before. But they got along famously, and Harlow was able to go hiking off leash, play in a great back yard and generally just be a very spoiled dog. She's exhausted today. Mark is a great photographer and would send me a photo or two like this:

Monday we went back to Pike Place Market and loaded up on fixin's for a dinner at DJ's mom's condo in Long Beach, Washington. Seafood!

After stopping for a great lunch with DJ's grandmother, dad and dad's wife, we drove down to Long Beach. It's so weird to me to be at a beach where you don't take a blanket and a cooler and lay out. But it was a very relaxing stay with a lot of reading, snoozing, and walking. We even had my friend Erin up from Astoria for dinner!

Wednesday and Thursday were spent in Castle Rock visiting Dusty's parents. Friday about noon we headed down to the Portland area, where we picked up Dusty's tuxedo for the wedding, and hunted Pliney the Elder. Pliney is a great beer which is IMPOSSIBLE to find. Serioulsy, people laughed at me. Between Seattle, Astoria, Vancouver and Portland, we could only find a single bottle!


Saturday was the wedding, held at the World Forestry Center near the Portland Zoo. Super fun. The only photo I snapped was a late night blackberry shot. We are shiny. Oh well!

Sunday was a long haul of a drive from Portland back to Bozeman. Eleven hours, plus a one hour time gain. Gah. We left at 8am and arrived home at 8:30pm. Thankfully the roads were fine. It must be close to spring, as Road Construction Season has begun with bridge replacements over the Clark Fork River in Montana...

Christmas 2009 Part III

Hey there! We’re back from the Washington Parent Pilgrimage that was Christmas, and whooo boy was it fun! 1,775 miles of driving over the course of 10 days, what’s not to love!!!

Ok, perhaps my enthusiasm is unfounded. For the driving part at least. Our last stretch from Clarkston, a stop in Colton, and onto Bozeman included my sister Gretchen, who is spending the next 10 days with us in Bozeman. And while DJ’s ’02 Tundra is totally sufficient for the two of us, it’s totally cramped for three people over an eight hour drive. The kicker is that the roads were fine the whole way and we could have taken my more comfortable Nissan Altima. Oh well.

Because 1,775 miles doesn't seem like a ridiculous amount to drive in 10 days.

It’s tough wanting to split time between three families (mine, DJ’s mom’s, DJ’s dad’s), especially at the holidays. Since both sets live in Washington State, well, it feels like we might as well do both. If DJ’s family lived in Minnesota, we’d go to one or the other, not schlep our stuff around to see everyone. But once you’re to my parents, you’re “only” six hours to DJ’s parents. You might as well go the whole way, right?

The downside is that I don’t feel like we really got to spend enough time with everyone. I could have used two more days around my mom and dad, and I know DJ feels the same way. I’m not sure what we’ll do next year. We’ve kind of agreed to not make any decisions until after El Weddingo.

It’s especially hard for me to consider missing Christmas with my family when my grandparents are still alive and my extended family gets together. And if we hadn’t done the big roadtrip, we wouldn’t have gotten to stay in Harrison, and check out the restaurant that is the location for our wedding reception

The Landing Restaurant, Harrison, Idaho.

And peer through the windows to see that the bathrooms are ripped out and remodeling is, indeed, taking place.

It'll get done, right? RIGHT???

We couldn’t have gotten the last two cinnamon rolls from Harrison Traders, on Main Street in Harrison (YUM!).

Seriously, you WANT a cinnamon roll from HTC.

Or checked out the park in the middle of Harrison that overlooks the marina (somewhere in the fog) and the campground. We’ll host a Welcome BBQ here on the Friday before our wedding.

Foggy.

Or peeked into the One Shots building and giggled at how fun the after-party at One Shots will be.

Grandpa Bob and Grandma Joyce have been coming to One Shots since the mid 1940's.

And had we not gone to Castle Rock, we wouldn’t have gotten to see DJ’s brother get his year-long hair be cut, and donated to Locks of Love.

Locks of Love.

And had a fabulous dinner.

 Paul, Brian, Michelle and Christmas Dinner!

Or tried to take a nice family photo.

Look, a bird!

And had we not gone to Clarkston, we wouldn’t have gotten to open presents with my parents.

Opening gifts.

 Or tried to take another nice family photo.

Sandi, Mike, Gretchen, Courtney, Dusty.

Or sat through Christmas Mass in St. Boniface Church in Uniontown, Washington. Where although I wouldn’t say I’m a practicing Catholic, I do feel part of the community.

St. Boniface in Uniontown.

Especially when I walk out of church and grab my sister, grandmother and girl cousins for a quick Kramer Girl photo.

Hannah, Grandma Jan, Jessica, Whitney, Gretchen, me, Mollie

And then go out to my aunt and uncle’s, and watch my 76 year old grandmother talk to my cousin over Skype.

Joyce, Skypeing with my cousin Taylor.

And spend Christmas Day out at my Grandma Jan’s, with my extended, extensive family.

Kramer family on the farm.

Where I have a ton of girl cousins, who are all growing to be beautiful, accomplished young women.

Gretchen, Jessica, Mollie.

Whom DJ gets to meet.

Christmas Dinner: round FIVE.

And after dinner we all end up playing trivia games.

Who DID win the NCAA national title in 1987?

That sometimes get very heated.

Sports trivia questions. DJ only stayed around through the baseball round.

Because if we didn’t spend nearly 24 hours driving, when else would we get a chance to gather with family and celebrate just being together?

Kramer Cousins: Kyle, Zach, me, Tyler, Ryan, Whitney, Gretchen, Mollie, Jessica, Hannah