Mornings

I've become a go-go-go-go person. I truly do get more done when I'm busy than when I have an entire day to myself. Something about having deadlines, or being motivated to go to the gym right now or else it won't happen because of this meeting. I thrive, really, under a moderate amount of pressure.

In the last two weeks I've been trying to find ways to actively relax. I don't mean zoning out in front of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, because while that show is mindless, I'm not relaxed afterwards. Not invigorated. Not calmed the fuck down. Instead, I'm wondering why in the love of god all of those women look like aliens? Have you noticed that? Seriously; they scare me.

But I digress.

I went to two yoga classes last week, and learned two important things: 1) I am not bendy; and 2) yoga is kind of hard! My triceps are sore this morning from Saturdays class.

Does it help me relax? hmmm. Kinda. Not in a "wow I see the world in a totally different way" kind of relaxation, but in a "well that was a n ice change of pace from my usual workout."

I've also tried to protect myself by putting limits on when I'll discuss work. My board's holiday party was last night, and two of the members tried to ask me about a business item. The same business item which cranked my shoulders into a knotted mess of frustration on Thursday. I was rude to the board members, throwing up my hands in the stop signal and saying "I'm sorry, I can't talk about this now," and "I spent four hours on this last week and I just can't now. We're having a nice social gathering. Would you like another beer?"

But one of the most important things I do for myself a couple of days a week is give myself some time at home alone with the dog in the morning. I'll spend 45 minutes after DJ leaves to drink my coffee, browse email and blogs, and pet the doggie, who never can have enough attention. Then I hit the gym, the shower and work. I'm lucky to work in an environment that allows flexible hours, so I can roll into the office at 10 am and work until 6 pm without reproach.

Mornings home alone seem to be the only time I get to myself. And I appreciate them more and more.